What If We Do

Wrestling with committing a lifetime to someone, or not.

Listen to the Studio Version

Lyrics

A glance is long enough to see she sparkles
Tapestries of words display the world inside his heart
She swears it’s not a date but HE still looks at her that way
Can any lovers ever finish what they start?

A courtship long enough to see him shaken
Memories casting shadows, casting spells across her mind
He swears it’s different now but SHE still looks at him that way
Can new love only outrun heartache while it’s blind?

What if we do? And then we don’t?
Will we crash around the corner, leave a wreck beside the road?
What if we do? What if we’re fools?
He can’t think of life without her. She just wants his arms around her.



Will they last long enough to see the ending?
When hair is well past gray, when love is stronger than before.
The years were long and hard, but they don’t look at it that way.
Here’s to rowing when you can’t see either shore.

We’re wonderful and broken and we’re spinning round and round
Afraid to hold on tighter or let go
We could close our eyes and say forever, heaven bound
Or right now, without blinking, say, hello

What if we do? And then we don’t?
Will we crash around the corner, leave a wreck beside the road?
What if we do? What if we’re fools?
He can’t think of life without her. She just wants his arms around her.

Back Story

I spent some time traveling with my cousin and his girlfriend – both such great people. Articulate, kind, insightful thinkers. They were going to a wedding and I was visiting family in the same direction. We flew out in my plane.

They were considering getting married (to each other). They’re both old enough and wise enough to know marriage doesn’t always turn out the way we hope. And they had been dating long enough to know they don’t like everything about each other. We had some great conversations about committing one’s life to someone, or not.

On a lunch and fuel stop on the flight back, I said to one of them, “you are wonderful, and damaged”. Tact is not my strong point, but they knew how it meant it. We all are wonderful and broken, and that’s why relationships are wonderful and hazardous. With their permission I wrote this song about it.

No relationship is guaranteed to last. We will all lose all our loves to old age, sickness, and death, if we are fortunate enough to make it that far. If we don’t close our eyes and jump, then we must grapple with the risk of hoping, wanting, loving at all in the first place.

Making Of the Studio Version

The feeling of collaboration and support from everyone who worked on this track with me is amazing. When I timidly asked full-time music pro Cody if he would co-produce with me, my insecurities raged. Shoulder-demon voices insisted Cody could not be bothered with my amateur songsterism. As always, the naysaying voices were not telling the truth, and Cody was more than willing to join the project. His kindness, creativity, and support were huge in giving me the guts to take an original song through full production and release it.

We knew that a female harmony would suit the topic of the song. Cody connected Olivia Tasch to the project, and she did such a great job both creating and singing the harmony parts. Our few hours in the studio with her were fun and increasingly creative and led to four tracks of harmony where we originally imagined one.

Friend and pro Charlie Harris played just the sort of solid, understated-yet-prominent bass guitar part we wanted. We put Cody’s drums in my little studio and recorded real drums for the track. I reluctantly agreed to play the piano part myself, with my beginner piano skills.

Cody suggested melodica accents, and we did a few takes of those over the entire song, and used snippets in the final result. I didn’t know Hammond makes melodicas, but they do and Cody played his in the studio. In editing, I pulled two melodica phrases from two other places in the song to put together a harmonized wistful melodica intro that became a highlight of the song for me.

This was my first full-song mixing and mastering project since my teenage years. It’s gloriously nostalgic to be back in the studio. It’s remarkable to me how many creative options are possible in editing and mixing, even after the tracks are all recorded and set. I love it.

Art

Credits and Thank-You’s

I have so loved producing this song together with this team of collaborators. Inspiration by one the kindest and most connective pair of humans I’ve met. Co-production, melodica, and drums by Cody Jensen. Harmony vocals by Olivia Tasch. Bass guitar by Charlie Harris. Cover art by Ally Grayce. Words, music, piano, lead vocals, recording, and mixing by me.